


Here I Am, Making the Same Mistake

by publishthewholeofthis



Series: Love Can Tell a Million (Modern) Stories [2]
Category: Falsettos - Lapine/Finn
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, First Dates, Getting Back Together, Kinda, M/M, Post baseball game, Whizzer's a ball of anxiety
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-05
Updated: 2018-04-05
Packaged: 2019-04-18 20:23:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14221056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/publishthewholeofthis/pseuds/publishthewholeofthis
Summary: If Whizzer changed his outfit five times and kept fixing his hair to bring out the least attention to his hairline it was only because he wanted to prove how great a Marvin-less life was treating him. He wanted to strut into the park and laugh as frumpy single Marvin ate his fucking heart out, regretting with every fiber of his being the day he’d kicked him out.Except, that’s not how it ended up happening, because he is pathetic, sad, and has no self-control.





	Here I Am, Making the Same Mistake

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! I'm back with a new story, a username change, and some ugly farmer's tans!  
> This fic was written mostly in the country of Cambodia, then revised the day after I came back to the States jet-lagged and hating life. Then I reread it when I was in a clearer state of mind and realized there was so much garbage in it I cut out half the story.  
> I think it's a little better now haha.  
> If you have any ideas for the series or just want to come talk, my tumblr is publishthewholeofthis :)
> 
> (New note: I tried to upload this earlier but it only published half the story whoops)

_You, Whizzer Brown, are pathetic and sad and have no self-control whatsoever._

The mantra has been on an almost ceaseless loop since he hightailed it out of the little league game, and Whizzer briefly entertains the idea of banging his head against the public transport but it's just so...public. This was a bad idea- one of his worst- and he should have shut it down the moment Jason invited him.

He knew it at the time as well, but...the kid was so happy to see him, for some crazy reason he still looks up to him, it's been two years and if Whizzer is honest with himself he’s missed him. And by him, he means just Jason, not anyone else in that freak show family, especially not his psychotic father with his pretty blue eyes or his strong arms or his charming smile that can hide just how insane he is. If Whizzer changed his outfit five times and kept fixing his hair to bring out the least attention to his hairline it was only because he wanted to prove how great a Marvin-less life was treating him. He wanted to strut into the park and laugh as frumpy single Marvin ate his fucking heart out, regretting with every fiber of his being the day he kicked him out.

Except, that’s not how it ended up happening, because he is pathetic, sad, and has no self-control. Marvin was visibly eating his heart out, gently tugging on his sleeve and whispering, “Would it be possible to see you again? Maybe call you?” But Whizzer wasn't able to follow his own plan.

He instead replied with, “Well, anything’s possible,” and somehow ended up clinging to his arm when Jason suddenly hit the ball. God, he still had nice arms, even if they were covered with some dingy sweatshirt. Next thing he knew Marvin had his new number plugged into his phone and Whizzer hated himself with invigorated energy.

“We’re taking Jason out tonight to celebrate,” Marvin said, and Whizzer really hoped he wasn’t going to invite him because he knew he’d say yes and consequently have to fling himself off a building. Or maybe not, since getting involved with this family again was basically doing the same thing.

Thankfully, there was no invitation, just a quick glance around and a familiar touch to his elbow. “I’ll probably be out late, but I’ll call you tomorrow?” It was a question, a silent _A_ _m_ _I allowed to_ , and the answer should have been a firm no. It was a desperate and trying too hard to be an aloof response of, “Sure...but I’m not holding my breath for it.”

Whizzer releases a sharp breath and subconsciously gnaws at the nail of his right thumb. _Whizzer Brown, you’re pathetic, sad, and lacking in any semblance of control._

*

**New Text Message from Unknown**

_Received 11:07 pm_

_It was nice to see you today. It’s been what, two years? Jesus. Jason was happy to see you too._

 

Sent 11:30 pm

He’s a good kid

 

_Received 11:31 pm_

_Oh good, I was beginning to think you gave me a wrong number._

 

_Received 11:31 pm_

_Though I think I’d deserve that._

 

Sent 11:35 pm

Lol I wouldn’t. You looked so desperate I had to take pity on you

 

_Received 11:36 pm_

_I did not!_

 

Sent 11:46 pm

Oh please you were practically drooling

 

_Received 11:50 pm_

_Maybe a little bit...but can you blame me? It’s been forever and holy shit you’re still pretty._

 

Sent 12:00 am

Obviously. Now stop texting me I’ve got someone coming over in a min

 

_Received 12:01 am_

_Right now??? Are you sure that’s safe?_

 

Sent 12:02 am

jesus christ marvin I’m a fuckin adult

 

_Received 12:05 am_

_You’re right sorry...have fun._

 

**Add Contact:**

**Marvin**

*

He doesn’t call the next day like he said he would. Which is fine, it's not like Whizzer is sitting around waiting for his phone to ring. He does have better things to do, and quite frankly he doesn’t care if Marvin calls or not.

At least, that’s what he has to tell himself every time his phone dings and his heart skips a beat only to realize it's a social media alert or a text from Cordelia. It's what he tries to get himself to believe as he tosses and turns in his bed that night, half worried that if he drifts to sleep he'll miss a phone call.

“I’m not anxious about this,” he whispers into the darkness. “I don’t care.” Even so, his mind still races.  _He said he would call...if something came up why didn’t he text me? Was it something I did? Probably. It’s always something I did. I bet he’s trying to be petty since I brushed him off for a twelve o’clock booty call, huh? That sounds right. Well, fuck Marvin then! I don’t even know why I gave him my number, that was so stupid. It’s messing me up; look at me sitting here like a pining, lovesick loser. It’s disgusting. I have to put an end to this madness._

“I’m blocking his ass first thing in the morning.”

*

**Incoming Call from Marvin…**

 

Whizzer shoots his phone a nasty glare as he strides down the street toward his studio, as if the device is to blame for his inability to follow through on his vow to block his ex boyfriend. This whole thing is so stupid; he was doing great up until that fucking baseball game, and now all of a sudden the old feelings he'd sworn off years ago are bubbling to the surface. _I shouldn’t answer, I can’t keep feeding this._

His thumb hovers over the reject call button, but then the phone rings again and his chest tightens again. _It’s a bad idea,_ he tells himself. _Marvin is an asshole; he kicked me out over a shitty chess game._

A third ring. _He’s selfish and condescending and controlling._

Four- _A_ _nd he’s mean. He’s demanding. He’s spiteful._

Five- _And...I can be all those things too..._

Whizzer sucks in a quick breath and pounds a button. “If you say one negative word about my sex life I’m hanging up on you.”

 _“What?”_ Marvin’s voice sounds a little tinny, like he's somewhere far away. _“You know, most people would answer their phone with a greeting.”_

“We’re not normal people.”

 _“Touche. I...that’s not why I called?”_ He clears his throat awkwardly. _“Jesus. Sorry I didn’t call yesterday, I had to work late.”_

Whizzer tucks his phone between his cheek and his shoulder as he fishes his keys from his pocket. “I don’t care what you were doing.” Why did he even answer the phone? This is so pointless.

Marvin hums as if he knew the retort was coming and continues, _“Actually, I have to work late today and tomorrow too so I can get off early Thursday.”_

Despite his better judgement, Whizzer takes the bait. “Why? Got a big date Thursday?” He snips as he lets himself inside and punches in the code to the alarm. On the other side of the phone, Marvin lets out a nervous laugh.

 _“Depends,”_ he murmurs softly, _“on if you say yes.”_

Whizzer drops his keys on the floor. “Shit.”

 _“Ah yeah…”_ Marvin says shakily as Whizzer ducks down to feel around in the dark. _“I know I fucked up last time, I was a complete dick. I didn’t want to say this over the phone but-”_

“Shut up. Did you even ask if I was free on Thursday, or did you just assume I’d drop my plans at your beck and call?” He finally grabs his keys and stands up to flick the lights on.

_“No, I uh…”_

“Of course. I do have someone planned for Thursday, but lucky for you he’s nothing special, I could call him any day of the week and he’d come running. Since you went out of your way to clear your schedule I’ll cancel him.”

His words are the epitome of cool indifference, but inside a voice is screaming _Abort! Abort! Abort!_ He tries his best to ignore it, mostly because Marvin sounds almost ecstatic over the phone.

 _“You will? Great! That’s...wow… I wasn’t expecting you to say yes. This is great!”_ Whizzer can  _hear_ the giant grin in his voice, the sound bringing a hesitant smile to his own face. _No, no, no._

 _“Okay I have to go to work now,_ ” Marvin says. _“I’ll see you Thursday. Dress nice.”_

“You know I’m on it. I should be telling you that.”

After Marvin hangs up, Whizzer calmly walks over to a couch in the lobby, picks up a decorative pillow with the cheesy words ‘The Best is Yet to Come’ stitched onto the front, and screams into it.

*

By the time Thursday rolls around Whizzer has settled on two potential outfits. Settled- as in he's spent the past three days tearing through his closet, yelling at how ugly everything had suddenly gotten, throwing 80 percent of his clothes onto the floor, and picking out some things that might look okay, only to change his mind and begin the process all over again.

Since when did choosing clothes become so difficult? This is something he can normally take pride in, he's good at this. Or at least, he used to be, now he has to give the responsibility to Cordelia after sending her a selfie in both outfits.

 

_Lesbian Wife sent a Chat!_

_GRAY SUIT BLUE SHIRT NO TIE BABY YOU LOOK LIKE A WHOLE FUCKING MEAL_

 

So that's decided; what he isn’t sure about is the actual date. He has so many regrets: he shouldn’t have said yes, his hands shouldn’t be shaking as he rebuttons his shirt, he really shouldn’t have styled his hair like that he looks like an idiot- oh wait he is an idiot so maybe the hair is fitting.

“Stop!” He finally has to yell at himself. “Stop stressing, it’s fine. You’re fine. God, it’s just Marvin, it’s not serious. Just some free food and good sex.”

Still, the only thing that really pulls him away from his mirror was the arrival of his cab driver. Marvin offered to pick him up, but he's clear across town and Whizzer really needs the extra time to compose himself. It doesn’t work in his favor; by the time he reaches the restaurant he's a bundle of nerves that has worked himself up to the point where he can hardly breathe.

It doesn’t show though, he knows exactly how to fake it till he makes it, how to perfect the bright eyes, confident smirk, and long strides. That is his only saving grace when he steps into the nicest restaurant he has ever been inside. Everything screams fancy, expensive, and elegant, but luckily he's able to look as though he belongs there, no matter the mess he feels inside.

Then there's Marvin, sitting alone at a gorgeous candle-lit table, visibly playing with his glass of water and jackhammering a leg under the table. _At least he’s nervous too._

He jerks his head up at Whizzer’s approach and slides out of his chair to greet him. “Hey, you came!” He breathes, almost as if he thinks he's dreaming and if he speaks too loudly he’ll wake himself up. His smile, with his pearly white teeth and warm blue eyes, makes Whizzer’s stomach twist sharply before he forces himself to look at Marvin’s ear instead.

“Well I do enjoy free food, so here I am.” He gives him a hug, because that's proper date etiquette, especially on the fanciest date of his life. He is not for the smallest second thinking of the familiarity of the embrace and the longing it invokes, in fact, he cringes at how needy it sounds.

Marvin chuckles before he politely pulls out the other chair for him to sit. “You look amazing,” he blurts as soon as he plops into his own seat.

Whizzer's heard it all before, but for some reason, his heart still pounds like he was a teenager getting noticed by his crush for the first time. _Knock it off._ He quirks an eyebrow and leers at him from the other side of the table. “And you don’t look half bad for once. Did you let your son dress you tonight?”

Marvin's wearing a classy black suit that actually fits him and a tie that compliments it, unlike his usual garments that are practically a neon sign flashing Shabby Single Sire. Said man flushed a little and self-consciously adjusts his tie. “Thanks...Charlotte yelled at me until I got a fitted suit.”

Whizzer stiffens a little in realization, he forgot for a moment that Marvin is best friends with _his_ best friend’s girlfriend, regardless of the fact that Cordelia warned him about it weeks ago. He can only cross his fingers and pray the two of them don’t put two and two together and realize that the date Whizzer was freaking out to Cordelia about is the same date Charlotte dressed Marvin up for. Because as much as he loves Delia, he knows the second she hears that he may or may not be seeing Marvin again she’ll be up on a soapbox demanding to know what his plan is. And he's trying really hard to not have a plan.

Marvin’s eyes widen slightly, as if he's just been hit by the same thoughts. “They don’t know,” he assures firmly, raking a hand through his messy hair. “I think they’d kill me if they did.”

Whizzer smirks. “Sounds like someone was advised against seeing his ex.”

“Several times. Turns out I’m terrible at listening to it.”

His smirk falters a little. _Me too._ Unable to think of anything clever to say, he merely huffs and tries to focus on foods with names he can’t pronounce. Marvin isn’t really helping, sending glances at him over the top of his own menu like he wants to say something but can’t muster the courage to do so.

It continues long after they order their drinks, and after another minute Whizzer finally drops his menu, letting it hit the table with a soft thud. “What is it, Marvin?”

Caught in the middle of a stare, the other man blushes to the tips of his ears. “I’ve missed you.”

Whizzer’s throat immediately goes dry, because he understands. For the first time since Jason’s baseball game, he knows why he's constantly going against his better judgement in order to see him again. It's because he misses Marvin- so much he's terrified of it. Just thinking it to himself is enough to make him itch to run out of the restaurant and delete his number as quickly as he can. He manages to repress the urge, instead opening his mouth to mutter a very elegant, “oh…”

Fortunately, the waiter comes back before he can make an even bigger fool of himself.

Unfortunately, it does nothing to deter Marvin and takes away his menu so he has nowhere to hide his face.

“I’m so sorry Whiz,” He says the second they're alone again. His fingers subconsciously fiddle with his cuffs as he takes a deep breath. “I was such an ass; I had some stupid preconceived notion as to what my life was supposed to look like, and when it ended up not being like that at all I thought I could twist people’s arms and manipulate them into looking as close to the picture as possible. And when I couldn’t get you into that mold I just...God it was so wrong.”

He runs his hand through his hair again, looking so tired and sad. “And even though I regretted breaking up with you every single day, I think I needed it. I’ve done a lot of growing up these past two years. At least, Jason says I have, and that kid brutally honest.”

Marvin lets out a small laugh and looks down at his fidgeting hands. “I don’t even know why you agreed to come here.”

Whizzer bites his bottom lip. “Well...you weren’t the only one who fucked shit up, Marv,” he murmurs quietly.

The other man glances back up at him with eyes so blue and sincere. “I want to prove to you that I’ve changed because if you’d let me...I‘d love to give us a second chance,” he practically pleads. “I’d like to do things right for once; to take you on dates and romance you and make you happy.”

Their past relationship was a dysfunctional mess, obviously, and it can easily get bad again. Maybe all the niceness and caring and apologies are just a front to get him back under his thumb. Marvin has always been a charmer, maybe Whizzer's just the damn fool who keeps falling for him. Maybe he really is pathetic and sad, or maybe they've both grown up some in the past two years. Maybe they have changed just enough to make it work this time around. And maybe it is a mistake, but he's willing to try.

Whizzer doesn't say anything, he can’t trust himself to, but instead he slowly slides a hand across the table to place atop Marvin’s restless one. It stills immediately.


End file.
